In Celebration of Crazy Hybrid Postmodern Beauty, and Black History Month.

I have a lot of stuff weighing me down right now. A beloved cat has gone missing, and despite everyone's kind reassurances that cats are good survivors, I have very little hope. I am wrestling with my worklife - I am working way too much and trying to decide what to put down, coming once again to the conclusion that adjuncting isn't worth it, even if I do love teaching. Oh, and I just found out that three of my second grade daughter's peers are leaving the school in the next month. And the Republicans have officially gone woman/child-hating insane all over this country, not to mention poor people-hating, public employee-hating, art-hating, and so forth. I may blog about some of these topics. I have so many thoughts gnawing at my skull, I had better write them down somewhere, here or elsewhere.

Oh, and my beloved grandmother is declining, and I can only watch from afar as my mother is sucked into caretaker overload. I am feeling very, extraordinarily not shiny.

Then in the middle of the night, I find in the glow of the intertubes that a friend in another city (who I've actually only met in person once) has sent to a friend in my city (who I don't see nearly enough, or really even know well enough, because of my so busy, not-balanced work life) a video of "Tightrope" by Janelle Monae.

[Embedding of her videos is not allowed (!), so you can see it here. Really, go watch it. You'll be glad you did.]

OK, so I guess people who know things already know who she is - she was nominated for a couple Grammy's - but I don't actively follow music these days (except the tween pop Z is getting into) and had never heard of her before. Now I am obsessed and a little bit in love - with the music, with the dancing, with the self that she presents on her website. She is a total expression of what kind of beauty is possible in this fucked up country, a crazy hybrid postmodern flying in the face of all conventional wisdom beauty. A fiercely optimistic kind of beauty.

And watching her video - with all its references and allusions - I think to myself, "This country wouldn't be shit without African-American culture." I mean, think about it, people! I'm not the first to point it out (,, I could go on) but c'mon.


(Ok, and Jewish culture has been a major influence, and ... but you get my point, I hope.)


Black people were slaves and then they were a segregated minority, and now they are the bulk of the underclass, and yet again and again and again and again, black people create whole cultural movements ... out of fucking nothing ... and still all we can manage to do, collectively as a country, is scorn and fear the inner city and all those dark skinned children struggling in schools that are not serving them - for reasons way too complex for me to diagnose right here.

Yet out of those inner city neighborhoods, out of those schools, will come amazing strength, truth & beauty DESPITE all the fucking shit this country heaps on them. (We could analyze why this point is of particular relevance to me, a boho-class white lady with kids in inner-ring suburban public school whose blonde son has said things like, "I can talk like a rapper, but my face doesn't look like one," but that's another post. And really, people, this point is relevant to ALL of us.)

In parting I will you leave with the words of a couple more amazing black women:

A few days ago (2/18) was Audre Lorde's birthday ("black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,"). She wrote:

Is the total black, being spoken
From the earth's inside.
There are many kinds of open.
How a diamond comes into a knot of flame   
How a sound comes into a word, coloured   
By who pays what for speaking. [more]

Might we all agree ... Every month is Black history month.

OK. I'm still feeling weighted down, but a little more shiny underneath it all.


  1. Beautiful post, and thanks for sharing the video links.

    I hope things get better for you soon! *hugs*

  2. Love the lines from Audre Lord. I've always been in awe of those who can create from nothing. My version was to create from pain and it kept me alive. You're a beautiful soul. The weight will lift and before it does I know you will find the meaning in it.


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